Some people periodically asked me what the best way is to learn from overseas
scientists or coaches, especially when you are visiting them or they may be
visiting us. I have compiled a brief list of hints in this regard:
1. Establish good, mutually respectful relations which do not create the
impression that you or your culture are superior to that of others, no matter
how true that may appear to be.
2. Show that you are genuinely interested in knowing more about their ideas
and demonstrate that you have gone to great lengths to learn as much as you
can, culturally and technically about their ’system’. Learning just a few
words or customs about their countries is often well appreciated and do try
to pronounce personal and country names correctly (for example, it is not
Packeestann, but Pukkistahn; not Melborn, but Melbin; not Eesreel, but
Is-ray-el; not Will-helm, but Villhelmm; not Vann Nice, but Funn Nays, etc).
If you don’t know, just ask what is correct and most people will be delighted
to help.
3. If possible, share your findings and ideas with them. Don’t just take
and expect to receive.
4. Don’t turn every lunch, dinner and casual meeting into a journalistic
nightmare for them by asking endless questions. Put yourself in their
position – how would you like to talk to someone who is always taking notes,
asking questions, videotaping and prying into matters which ensure their
living? Do you do this very time you go out with a friend who is a lawyer,
doctor or architect?
5. Don’t talk about yourself. In many countries, talking about one’s
achievements is regarded as being in extremely poor taste – in fact, outside
North America, most countries have this attitude. If you do talk about what
you are doing, make very sure that you have real substance which equals or
surpasses in some respects what they are working on. Don’t just talk because
of egotistical reasons – others may have far more success stories than any of
us will ever have in sport. They find it especially arrogant when they see Wes
terners promoting their own books or ideas as coming from ‘the world’s
greatest coach’, the ‘world’s leading expert’, ‘coach to the world’s top
athletes’ and so on. Say this and you may convince some fans in the West,
but it can be an instant cut-off from real respect and collaboration
elsewhere.
6. Always be willing to admit that your own ideas, upbringing and training
may be wrong or incomplete. Thank others for showing you where you may have
been incorrect.
7. Be generous with your hospitality, ideas, feelings and appreciation. Show
that you are also human and be prepared to delve into one another psyches
with all the pain and pleasure that it might bring. Don’t always “talk shop.”
8. Collaborate with others rather than working against them or taking their
ideas, wrapping them in another package, giving them other names and offering
them as your own.
9. As with any other ‘cross-cultural’ encounter, learn as much as you can
about their culture and etiquette and never expect local standards and faci
lities if you stay in Russia, China, Italy, Africa or any other foreign
country. Whatever you do, do not complain constantly about things that you
may not like or find familiar. Always be an ambassador of the highest quality
and prepare well for your trip in that role.
10. Unusual gifts from your country are very much appreciated as symbols of
your friendship and appreciation.
11. Use very formal, polite modes of address until such time that others
invite you to use first names. Never interrupt, as is often the case on
North American chat shows. Not allowing others to finish what they are
saying is regarded as very bad manners, but virtually every TV interviewer
totally ignores this rule and makes it appear as if it is universally
acceptable.
12. Write to your new colleagues after you have parted, offering thanks or
any friendly words to show how much you appreciated the time that you spent
together.
13. In some countries (especially in the Far East) it is regarded as rude
and uncultured to simply shove a colleague’s business card into one’s wallet
without studying it carefully and offering some remarks of approval or
recognition for its contents.
14. This is old, but still valid advice – do not discuss politics, religion
or race. If you do so, then broach these subjects in a very genuine way
which enhances closeness and understanding.
Others may wish to add their favourites to the above list – over to you!
Mel Siff